Kimberly Joy Mophead, read more, I'll explain...

Hey Princesses,

This blog entry is dedicated to the ignorant. Forgive them, for they know not what they say. Forgive them, for they know not how to say. Forgive them, for they know not when to show class, instead of showin' their...well you know the rest.

I am quite sad to report this, but this story is about a sista. I was working in a satellite office for my job, and this young lady had an office in the same building. She had never formally introduced herself, and decided to do so this particular morning. So, she walked over to my office, with the biggest smile, and pleasant demeanor. She said, "My name is 'Kelly'" (Uhhm, that's what we'll call her). I said "Hello Kelly, I'm Kimberly." She then took a rather long look at my naturally kinky hair and said "Oh you are natural, I could never do that....it looks like I could turn you upside down, and mop with you."

Yeah, you read it right. She said it looks like she could turn me upside down, and flippin' MOP with me. Kelly basically called me a mop head. I'm not even a Swiffer ya'll, I'm an old school MOP!! Stick me in a bucket and slop me on the floor mop!  I said "Excuse me???" When she saw my already big eyes pop out of my head, both hands rushing to my hips, she knew it was over. "Kelly" said "Oh wait, ma'am, I didn't mean that in a bad way!" So, comparing me to a cleaning tool that's used to remove dirt, grime, filthy germs and sticky kitchen juices should in no way be offensive??? Calling me a mop head should be the highlight of my day?? WOW. I just gained my composure, and said "Wow." I walked away from this ignorance. I had to. Due to the fact that I was on the clock, I decided her ignorance, was not worth my job, my bread and butter. I don't know WHAT would have come out of my mouth, had I stayed there a second longer. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!?? My hair was in a "braid out" that day, and let me tell you, I just knew I was doin' it! AND STILL think I was!! Despite being compared to a MOP!

Ladies, we gotta do better for each other. Who will support us, if WE don't support us? What are some crazy, nuts things people have said to you about your kinky, crowning glory? How did you handle it?

Being Natural In The Corporate World

Hey Princesses!!!

There are natural women everywhere! We are everywhere you look these days! We have a million different occupations including retail, service, medical, ministry, and yes, CORPORATE! Yes, us, AND our hair, are all up in your face in the corporate world!! Now initially, it was completely frowned upon to walk into an office setting, with a natural hairstyle. After all, professional has been long considered to be bone straight, conservative hair. Now, we are expanding the definition of professional, and proving that professional goes well beyond the layered, relaxed look. There are so many ways we can wear our hair, and should not feel pressured to have it straightened each time we enter our offices! That would be a true challenge, especially for those of us who shy away from direct heat.

I have worked in a corporate setting for most of my career. For the past 4 years, I have worked in a Business Formal office setting. I do not straighten my hair for work. Not even for "Big" meetings. I experiment with different styles, and have found that professional looks CAN be achieved on our hair, in its' curly texture. Does anyone watch the VH1 reality show "What Chilli Wants"? The most recent episode included a scene of Chilli in an office with her Psychologist, and the Dr. was proudly wearing a Puff. You gotta love that!! You have to know that what counts, is NEAT and CLEAN hair. Not necessarily the texture. Make sure to go on the internet and explore different styles. Ask friends, go to blogs and YouTube natural hair. Also, please visit http://www.thirstyroots.com/. What a fantastic resource for style ideas!!

The picture shown is of me at work. I am standing next to the boss. The big boss. (I have cropped him out, as he is an elected official and may not appreciate me just using his likeness all over my blog:). Anyway, I am wearing a braid out. I tend to wear my hair like this, or in a basic puff for work. Ladies, natural hair is appropriate for all settings!! Have you ever experienced issues in your place of work, due to your natural tresses? Share your stories here!

Hey Natural Princesses,

New Years Eve hair challenges have led many of us back down the road of Creamy Crack. During this crucial time of year, we have to support each other. Exchange ideas with each other, share new products, and stay focused on the ultimate goal: Healthy Hair!!

So, how is everyone doing with their natural tresses this holiday season? Do you remember a time when getting your hair done, almost always meant some type of straightening? I do! That used to be the basis of all of my really “done up” hair styles. Now naturals, many of us have a completely new outlook on this. For me, I still believe in having formal hairstyles, specifically for the holidays. Yet, it no longer means having bone straight hair. I could of course, flatten my hair with an, or pressing comb, and still achieve a straight, formal look. Yet, for this entry, I thought we could talk about different ways of working with our natural texture, for holiday styles. You can still have just as many different choices, but working with your own texture. Wearing natural hair up into a cute bun is super cute for the holidays. Wearing your natural curls down is also an option, maybe using some handmade or store bought accessories.

Remember, get creative!! As the picture shows (courtesy of thirstyroots.com), doing multiple buns and twists can be so elegant!

So, do you all still feel as “done up”, wearing your hair in its’ natural texture for formal events, such as New Years Eve Celebrations? Share your thoughts here!

Transitioning, Sticking to it!!

Hey Princesses!!

Let me explain this picture. This shot is a relaxed woman's nightmare! Look at all that new growth! This is me, 8 months into my transition. As you can see, I have a good 3 inches or so, of new growth. You can also see my stringy ends of relaxed hair, hanging on for dear life!! Handling two textures of hair, is what we encounter, while transitioning.

Transitioning to natural hair can be very difficult, but fun at the same time. The truth is, we have lost many of women during this very critical time! They decide they cannot "handle" their hair, and they go back to the creamy crack. I have done many "hair interventions" with friends:) "Step away from that perm, slowly, with your hands and gloves up!"

When that new growth comes, I know, it can be scary. After all, new growth has been our enemy. Yet, trust me transitioners, you will learn to welcome new growth, and realize it is very natural. Your hair should be growing!

When you are transitioning out of the relaxer, and back to your natural curls, you have to be creative in making your hair look great! After all, you are working with 2 textures of hair. Products will work differently on each texture of hair, giving you the threat of looking a hot, dusty mess. We can not have this princesses! Here are some basic guidelines, and helpful hints for transitioning.

LIMIT DIRECT HEAT USE
When transitioning, the line where your natural and relaxed hair meet, is very fragile. It can break off quite easily. For this reason, I recommend limiting, or perhaps eliminating the use of direct heat. Some women choose to blend their curly new growth, with the remaining relaxed ends. To do this,they will flat iron or press their hair frequently. While this may be OK to do sometimes, it is not healthy to do regularly. If you choose to straighten your new growth, be sure to use some type of heat protectant product before straighting it. Yet, please remember: it's a good idea to get used to seeing yourself with curly looks anyway! Explore what your hair can do in this transition phase, without having to straighten it so frequently.

TRY ROLLER SETS
It may be pretty old school, but a great way to blend your new growth with the remaining relaxed ends is doing a roller set. Try satin rollers, or flexi ones you can find in beauty supply stores. Roller sets can last for days if you sleep with a satin bonnet on. This way, you are not manipulating your hair each day. This method is a great way to begin embracing a new, curly look that is coming for you! Plus, if you take your time and do a roller set correctly, you can create casual, and formal looks. Check this YouTube video out for an example on how to roller set.

DO YOUR RESEARCH

Transitioning is your time to educate yourself! Go on YouTube, find Natural Hair Meet Up Groups, Facebook Groups, etc. There are so many people out here in this journey, let's connect with each other. You can get style ideas , and tips that may make your transition easier than you ever imagined! There are also some great books out there about natural hair. Make sure to learn all you can about this subject! Caring for natural hair is totally different from caring for chemically treated hair. Become an expert in caring for your tresses, it's your Glory!!

Do you have any tips, or concerns about transitioning? Share them here!!

Weaves Gone Wild!

Hey Princesses,

To those who are sitting at their computers wearing a weave right now, please don't take offense by my title! It just kinda flowed, and was catchy, ok!? And sorry Wendy Williams, but this pic was just perfect for this entry, How you dooooin????

There are many viewpoints on wearing weaves, by different individuals. When women go natural, there are many who decide that along with the chemicals flying out of the door, so do the weaves. Natural is defined differently, by each of us. It could mean the elimination of chemicals only. It could also mean the elimination of chemicals, and any synthetic/human hair pieces or tracks.

During the transition period, (When we are growing our relaxers out) many choose to wear wigs, half wigs, braids, etc. to protect our fragile transitioning hair. After this, it is often a woman's last experience with weave. It is almost a release of all things artificial on our heads, chemicals, and hair that comes in baggies!

In my view, I have to say that if a woman chooses to pop on a wig occasionally, that does not make her less Natural than those of us who choose to stay away from extensions. If a woman wants to achieve that straight, swingy look without using a flat-iron, I say go for it. It at least saves your hair from potential heat damage. You can achieve the bone straight look without worrying about "sweatin' it out". I know you know what I mean! Worrying about working out, getting it wet in the shower, etc. At least weave won't "revert".

So how do you feel about this? Do you feel if you are Natural, and decide to get a few tracks, you are a victim of "Weaves Gone Wild?"

Are you a Product Junkie??

Hey Princesses,

As a recovering “Product Junkie” myself, I am more than qualified to address this topic. What is a “Product Junkie”, you ask? It is a person who sees a hair product commercial, or print ad, and just buys, buys buys. Any small peak of interest will inspire them to buy the product. This includes shampoos, conditioners, curl definers, heat protectors, glosses, oils, hair milk etc.

Next thing you know, your bathroom looks like a Sally’s Beauty Supply Outlet store! Every square inch has a hair product! Then your poor car is outside because, ‘who needs to put it in the garage, when you can store hair products there?’ Ok, that is extreme, but I am trying to help you BEFORE the hair products invade half of your home! Us Natural Princesses being on the TV show “Hoarders”, is not a good look!

New naturals are more prone to this “condition”. When you are new on this journey, you just want to try everything you see! You see how a product works for one individuals’ hair, and you just KNOW it will do the same for you. So you buy it! Now don’t get me wrong, exploring lots of new products in the beginning, is a fun thing. This exploration period helps you to find your staple products. Yet, if gone unchecked, this habit can become costly, time consuming, and lead to clutter. Now, I don’t have a 12 step process to this epidemic taking over the natural world, yet I have a few tips for you. These tips helped me to recover. Well, let me be real, I do relapse! The proof of that is in my hall closet, where full containers of endless products remain. But hey, even princesses aren’t perfect! Enjoy these tips…

Tip #1-Think Before you Buy!!
Ask yourself, “Do I really need another leave in conditioner?” And answer it honestly. If you already have 5 in your closet, you have a surplus as it is! Think about why you are really buying it. Is it a product you truly need at this time, or will it collect dust in your closet? Products are fun, but we have to try and be selective, and make more careful choices.

Tip #2-Calculate the Money you are Spending.
Ok, here are cold hard facts, you gotta face it. How much are you really spending on products? What COULD you be spending this money on? Eating out with your close girlfriends? Saving it for a trip? Buying your boo a present, or YOU a present? Just make sure you are keeping track of the money you spend. You will be surprised at how it adds up! Natural Hair care products can be costly at times. This leads me to my last and final tip…

Tip #3-Make Your Own Products!
If you are newly natural, you may be thinking that this can take too much time. Actually, with practice, you can quickly make some really great products for your hair. Do some research on the internet, read books, and just ask other Naturals. Products made of honey, essential oils, milk and other ingredients are fabulous. Just keep on experimenting, and don’t give up if your first batch of homemade product looks like slime! KEEP AT IT!!! Go to www.motowngirl.com and check out their hair recipes section, as a start.

Are You in a "Puff Rutt"??

Hey Princesses,

Did you do your big chop, or slow transition, and discover the beautiful "Puff"? A puff, for any transitioners, or interested relaxed women, is basically where you pull your hair back with a band, and just let it do what it do. Puffs are super easy, fun, and out of the way. They can be worn conservatively, or wild. Here is my favorite puff shot:

Here is the thing, puffing is so easy, that at times, we just go with this look, not exploring the other fabulous styles we can achieve. Contrary to popular belief, naturals have options!! Constantly wearing our hair up, tightly, can cause breakage on our edges. I am proof of this. My edges began to break off after puffing for too long! I noticed it when friends would "tag" me in pictures on Facebook, that I had NOT approved! :) And to my surprise, and horror, there was mad breakage on my edges, all zoomed in! Eww!! So, for this entry, I wanted to explore a basic style that can give you an alternative to the tight puff!

Braid Out

A braid out is when you braid your hair, (Wet or dry), and many hours later, unbraid it to get a really cute crinkly, or wavy affect. It is a really easy style to do, that can last for days. I like to do my braid outs on wet hair. I normally co-wash my hair, and apply an olive oil, Shea butter mixture to it. Next, I braid my hair into about 16 braids. (Bigger braids will give you more wavy hair, smaller, more crinkly). After that, I will either just let it dry overnight (With a satin scarf on), or sit under the dryer for about 20 minutes, to speed up the drying. In the morning, I VERY carefully unbraid the hair. I put some type of light oil on my hands first, in an attempt to not frazzle and frizzle my hair while unbraiding. (Ok, so I don't know if "Frizzle" is a word, but hey, we are natural princesses, we can make up words!). After unbraiding, I slightly separate the sections. This look can last for a good three days! Here is a pic of one of my braid outs!

Make sure to sleep with a satin bonnet, scarf, or something on your head to preserve this style for as long as you can. Each morning, you may want to put your favorite shine product on to give it some life for the day. If you try this look, comment here, and let us know how it worked!! Good luck!